Respect

Respect, the reason why we listen to and follow our world’s leaders. It is how we show reverence to an individual that we admire or have a high opinion of. Although a common misconception, respect is not gauged by the size of someone’s wallet nor bicep. The key to gaining respect is in the manner we carry ourselves and the way we respond to situations that can go awry.

Respect means a lot to me personally. Growing up an Asian-American male, I do not believe I was given the proper respect that I know I forthright deserved. This is not me feeling entitled to anything, as I firmly believe that everyone should have at least some respect for every person. Now, I am not an athlete with washboard abs (although this is more of my own fault). I am not “Will Hunting” intelligent, where I can effortlessly recite words from the Iliad or write mathematical proofs in pen. And finally, I am not a 6-foot statue with a stern voice and a chiseled chin. Rather I’m a five foot six man with a voice who tends to get squirrely.

Gaining respect can be daunting for those who may not be dominating the physical or intellectual world. Aside from what media/films/T.V tell us, we do not need to have the perfect body nor have the ability to casually mention French adjectives after sipping on expensive wine. Although these qualities may be helpful, EVERYONE is capable of gaining respect. And here’s how to get it:

1. Appreciate who you are —

How are you going to expect respect from others when you don’t respect yourself? Cheesy, but true. It is difficult for anyone to take into consideration the advice of someone is insecure about him/herself. When you respect yourself, you are more decisive about your actions and can think with a clear head. Be proud of all of your passions because people can’t hate you for pursuing your dreams, unless they are self-conscious about their own.

2. Never react to situations with your emotions —

Approaching a situation with your emotions is not respectable. The reason being that your emotions fluctuate, but rational and logical thinking is almost always going to yield the same results. You want people to see that you are reliable instead of being unsure what your mood is going to be for the next meeting.

3. Listen to others and be open-minded —

To be honest, I lose a bit of respect for people who are so set in their ways and refuse to listen to anyone else. I feel that having respect means that people are comfortable talking to you about an issue they have. You do not want people fearing you. Fearing is not respect! So the next time someone is speaking to you, open two things: your heart and ear.

4. Know what is happening at all times —

If you constantly find yourself missing deadlines and asking other people what is going on before meetings, take a deep breath and start planning. Write down things that are going to be happening and plan for them. NEVER seem unprepared because people will then not trust you with important tasks.

5. Make a decision and stick with it —

One of the worst things you can do while trying to earn your respect is to be indecisive. And even worse is to go back on your word once you have made a decision. When you notify people that you are going to do something, ACTUALLY DO IT or else people will just think you are unreliable.

6. Shut-up and do the work —

Some people love to take short-cuts. You will not. Do you respect someone who grinds hours of work to ensure that something is done perfectly? Or do you respect someone who half-asses an assignment assuming the boss does not check his work? People will notice if you are truly doing your work. So don’t look at a promotion, look at your work and the promotion will come.

7. Be professional in emails/texts —

Use correct punctuation and grammar. Emojis should only be sent when you want to ease up on the formality (only use one emoji if this is the case, and don’t ever use the “horny-smirk” emoji)

8. Show appreciation —

Get respect by giving it. Appreciate the things that people do for you. Always send gratitude out and people will WANT to do favors/work for you because they respect your leadership style.

9. Speak clearly, correctly, and with a calm tone —

Here is a more tangible quality that you can work on daily. Speaking in a calm and clear tone gives the impression that you are rational and knowledgeable about the situation at hand. Slurring your words and mumbling makes it difficult for people to understand what you are saying, thus making it hard for them to actually listen to any advice or directions you are giving.

10. Take risks (i.e. Speak up in meetings) —

An important reason to why it seems that louder people tend to be correct is because their voices are the only ones being heard. When you speak out loud to a number of people, you are essentially risking rejection in many ways. You ever hear of the saying, “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take”. This is 100% true! We respect people who speak up because they are taking a stand for what they believe in.

Finally, an important thing to know is that not everyone is going to respect you, no matter how hard you try. The key is to not let it affect you in anyway. It is their problem and not yours. You cannot reason with unreasonable people, so just give it your all and hope they at least respect your words. Go out there and get your respect.